Success?

We all want to be successful in life, but what does that actually mean? So many times we achieve the things that we think will make us a success and then figure out later that they were empty and unfulfilling. If you don't sit down and define what success means in your life, your life will most likely not end up the way you want it to.

The best exercise I have ever seen to help you determine your personal definition of success came from Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People". Habit number 2 discusses what it means to "Begin with the End in Mind" and that is how you will find your personal definition of success. I challenge you to take a few minutes and read through the following exercise, honestly answer the questions and then start taking the steps to make sure those answers happen. We all want to look back on our lives and be successful, but if your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

In your minds eye, see yourself going to a funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. 

As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today.  All of these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. 

As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family immediate and also extended - children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization you've been involved in service.

Now think deeply, what would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate?

What character would you have liked them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you have wanted them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

To get what you really want in life, you must discover what you really value. You cannot prioritize your values until you know what is most important and unless you sit down to figure this out, you will never find it. If you carefully consider what you wanted to be said of you in the funeral exercise, you will figure out what you ultimately want and find your definition of success.